Sunday, October 23, 2011

In Defense of Crying....

I will be the first to admit that when I was younger, I completely looked down upon crying. I was judgmental with a capital "J" (yup, just like my name), because really? What kind of pussy-ass wimp cries in public?

I was willing to grant a few exceptions -- a few. Such as:
1) Injury bad enough that there was lots of blood or bone broken;
2) Death of someone close to you

And really, I wasn't even so sure about those exceptions to be honest. I mean, I have broken bones numerous times at this point in my life, and I have never once had a cast -- because you play through the pain, you just grit your teeth and keep going, you just do, you don't feel... and I have lost people, to illness, to suicide, to car accidents, to murder.... Stiff upper lip and all that.

Honestly, even my brother will back me up on being pretty much a tough little cookie. After all, he regularly used me for ummm "soccer practice"...

Well, okay -- I will admit I did cry sometimes to get him into trouble or force him to give something up to me, but that was acting and that is an entirely different thing.

Apples and oranges, people, apples and oranges.

In truth, I thought crying was pretty darn pathetic. And it drove me a bit crazy when people got all weepy around me -- like that was the way to gain my sympathy? Ha. More like lose my respect....

And then, well then my mom died, and then I bought this cabin, and then... well, then shit happened.... And I now understand crying has its purpose, and has its time and place....

Done properly, crying is not about getting attention, whining, feeling sorry for yourself, or trying to gain sympathy, friends or allies. Done properly, crying is about releasing negative energy.

I have discovered that a good cry can be like a good rain, washing away the muck and debris, leaving things clean, fresh and new. It allows you to "vent" -- to release the bad, the negative, the frustration, the anger, the irritation.

It allows you to take a deep breath, square your shoulders, and face the problem head on with a clear mind, clear heart, clear emotions, and clear thought process.

For a certain truism is that trying to solve something or even just do something while angry means that your anger clouds your vision and your mind, preventing you from doing anything -- or at least anything right. So if you can dissolve that anger in tears, clearing your vision and mind -- why wouldn't you?

So to my friends lately who have had tough times, to my friends that have felt on occasion weepy and even sorry for themselves, go ahead. Wallow a bit. Release, release, release and cleanse....

And then take a deep breath -- grab that handy bottle o' bourbon or whatever your poison is (the lesson from earlier posts) -- and look anew at the problem.

It will make a world of difference.

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